I'm calling myself out on this one.

"Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart."

Lately I've been feeling apprehensive. I'm probably still adjusting to being home. While up at school, I was always going, constantly doing something. I really liked it that way. This week has really been waring on me. Next week I start working, luckily. That will definitely give me less thinking time, and more time to give service. I look forward to that. 


It's been almost six weeks (Tomorrow, exactly six weeks) since the last heart break in my life. I know what you're thinking, "Six weeks.. Okay, that's a sufficient amount of time to be done." Give me a break, okay? I've heard that true love hurts. It's when expectations and reality don't match up. You find someone, and in your mind, everything is absolutely perfect. Blissful. Moments and memories are unique and one of a kind. When you realize it's all gone, over, you hold on to those moments and memories. It's hard to have let your Happily Ever After consume so much, when in a matter of slow motion minutes, it can end. Be cut off and broken. 


Don't worry. I still have faith. I know that the Lord is preparing someone for me right now. I've had that confirmation in my life. The waiting can get difficult, but it'll be worth it. I emailed big brother a little about this. He gave me some very comforting words, "That's the biggest thing I learned though. I chose whether or not I was happy. Just focus on happy things and tell yourself you are awesome and everything is okay and everything will be okay." I choose to be happy. Starting, yesterday. I can still have moments, but that cup had Better be half full.