foolofmyself

i blame work.
i blame my social life.
or really the lack of a social life.
i blame my contacts for burning my eyes.
the way they always do past 10pm.
i blame my body for losing all energy.
i blame my head for spinning.
i blame my sinuses for being stuffed up.
allergies quite possibly?
i blame my bed that isn't made.
i blame that email i just had to send.
when i should have read through first.
i blame the lack of fun.
life should have some zest in it.
i blame the time that i've lost.
sitting, because standing all day is too much.
i blame that overwhelming urge to cry.
for everything on my mind,
that seems like the easiest solution.
i blame those dry eyes.
i blame the dark empty house.
because life is busy.
i blame my insecurities.
i blame my imperfections.
because i am.
i blame myself.

Anytime babe.

Remember, You can't build forever on an idea.
It is not a very stable foundation.
It's better to be mutual.
For such a concept.
Better to accept it,
than experience it.

After Work.

I have so much I could say right now. However, I don't know what to say. I've learned so much today, that my brain hurts. There's so much on my mind, it's absolutely ridiculous. There's no where to start from. I've learned about high school lovers and choices they made. Friends who don't understand what I mean. Old friends who've missed me. Family and their secrets. Missionaries and their struggles. Residents and their past lives. Work and what more to expect. 

I think I'll sleep on this. Night.

38

"Every clock is tickin' faster

Takin' trips around the sun

Another year, another chapter

5 and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1"

The world is a beautiful place. If you don't agree, take a moment, look up from your phone, book, TV,
whatever, and Look around you. I think you'll fall in love, just like I do every day when I wake up. 

Just look at the sky. Feel the wind through your hair. Let your finger tips touch the grass.

Thank him for all the wonderful miracles that he has created for us to experience.

He deserves that, to hear you give thanks for something he's done.

Again.

Okay, okay. 

So I started reading..

I was up until stinking 4:00 in the morning. 

What Is Wrong With Me!? 

Holy cow. 

When I woke up

I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

Here's the thing...

When I read a book I'm either Really into it, or just skimming over it. 

This book was one that I Really got into, obviously by the time I finished it.

I ended up starting to read in the afternoon and finished later. 320 pages.

It's ridiculous how attached I become to a fictional character. 

There's always that hero. That handsome prince.

The one who shows up in the beginning as a friend. Simple.

Progresses to best friend, while the girl keeps her distance.

They end up falling in love but then there's a falling out. 

No communication for a while. (at least a chapter).

Some event happens. Something possibly life changing.

They find their way to each other, and talk. 

Forgive, and forget. Then...

Live Happily Ever After.

I fall in love every time.

and as I shut the book my heart breaks.

My perfect character fell in love with the main girl.

Instead of me. Again! Happens every time. 

Hopeless Romantic.

Looks at me and smiles.
Laughs at my singing.
Sings with me.
Dances down the halls.
Cooking, barefoot in the kitchen.
Getting to church 15 minutes early.
Has a childish side, just like me.
Worthy of Priesthood.
Captures memories.
Cuddles up for movies.
Loves me, even when I cry.
Writes love notes.
Reminds me I'm Beautiful.
Whispers in my ear.
Slow dances.
Saves me, when lost.
Makes me soup.
Runs through the sprinklers.
Knows how to be spontaneous.
Helps me to learn.
Listens a lot.
Wants me.

Sticky note.