a new found love.

"Father, I bring thee not myself,--

That were the little load;

I bring thee the imperial heart

I had not strength to hold.

The heart I cherished in my own 

Till mine too heavy grew, 

Yet strangest, heavier since it went, 

Is it too large for you?"

-Emily Dickinson

timefordinner.

I miss My boys so much.

Michael and his hugs.

Evan and his laugh.

Fran and his humor.

Richie and his smile.

Taylor and his wisdom. 

Ben and his genuine care.

Andrew and his kindness.

What am I going to do without them this school year?

Break out the boxes

It's about time to start packing again. 

I have to say, I think I prefer unpacking rather than packing. This ought to be fun.

In other news. 

We have Italians staying with us.

Today we decided to take them to Walmart.

They were amazed.

Then they cooked dinner.

It was Definitely good tonight.

Even if it had about 5 vegetables that are on my "Do Not" eat list.

Sometimes you have to try new things whether you want to or your being polite.

listen&payattention.

colliding with mistakes
hearing nothing but tragedy
tripping over emotions
slipping on good intentions
leaving before it can stay
staying before it can find
crying for the unwritten
failing in the watch
yelling at the silence
climbing through challenges

being perfectly imperfect.

Soon

I'm ready to wear my jackets and sweaters. Curl up in blankets to warm up. Let the wind nip at my nose while walking to class. Let hot chocolate warm up my body. Read books for fun, and school. Be around people yearning for more education. Live at the library getting ready for tests. Watch for those I need to help. Become a better person.

Then vs. Now

"This is Just a Journey. Drop your Worries. You are gonna turn out fine."

My focus was dance, getting ready for college, working. 

I went on dates, and had someone in mind who had stolen my heart.

I thought I would always dance, college would be cake, and my life was planned out.

That was one year ago.

My focus is now figuring out who I am, becoming a nurse, doing well in school.

I haven't been on a date in about five months, and the one person I did love has changed.

I don't compete anymore, college was a dang hard transition, and my life is definitely not planned out.

That's life though, right?

And I'm going to be by your side.

Remember when I used to write almost every day?
Yeah, those were good days.

What happened? Hm. I have no idea. Let's back track and talk about the summer though. This summer has been incredibly different.

 I moved back home when school ended, it was difficult. I was so used to being with my friends constantly, then to move home and be around family sometimes? Yeah, that was a change. I started working 35-40 hours a week which really helped. If I didn't have my job I would have been very bored this whole summer.

When I wasn't working I would be at home, at the library, reading, or occasionally playing with Audra. She is so very Lovely. She works at the Charleston with me and I probably would have had an even more challenging summer without her. Love her. Okay, except when she leaves for weeks at a time for vacations. Who does that? I mean, I never did!

On the First of July, my brother came home. It was such a neat experience. He's different, yet still the same. Now a day, we hang out often, it's fun. He spoke in our ward and did a great job. I've gone to many farewells and a few homecomings. It's neat to see my friends leave and come back after two years of being away from their loved ones.

For the rest of the summer we have Italians coming to stay with us for a few weeks. Also, in about two weeks we are going to Lake Powell. I am so excited. I'm ready for a vacation where I will have no cell service. I think those are the best ones. Personally.